Three Keys To Instigating Social Change

A few years ago, I gave a TEDx talk. It was about how I lost my parents when I was fourteen, and how I had to build my life for myself in the years that followed, without much support. At school, and in society. In the end I did find my way, but it didn't happen easily, or automatically. The talk was also about what's necessary for kids without parents, to be able to create a life worth living. I discovered three crucial factors for every orphan, and pretty much for every person who has to go through challenges early on in life.

This post is about these three keys: to notice and to be noticed; to facilitate and to be facilitated; to empower, and to be empowered.

If these three things hadn't appeared on my path when I was a teenager, things would probably have turned out quite differently for me. And these keys actually apply to anyone who experiences something intensely drastic. Something life changing. Something that puts you in a vulnerable position. It might be something from your past. Or perhaps you’re dealing with the whole Covid-19 situation. Whatever your situation may be: let’s dive in, and discover more about the three crucial keys.

(Watch this video or keep reading)

This week I had something to celebrate, along with a couple of amazing, brave people, who are also fighting for a better future for orphans in the Netherlands. We celebrated that a resolution was unanimously accepted by 150 members of the House of Representatives. The resolution aims to set up a committee for a more just and compassionate housing policy for young orphans. Because hundreds of bereaved people in this country are being evicted because their name isn't on the lease of the home they have lived in with their now deceased next of kin. This resolution was submitted by Member of Parliament Daniel Koerhuis. All 150 MPs said yes. Everybody.

Since 2007 I have been fighting with my small NGO for a better policy for orphans. Because there are many, and they face many complex challenges. So I was ecstatic that the resolution was passed. The job isn't done by far, of course, but finally, that first of the three keys I want to talk about today was fulfilled in this matter: recognition. Today's orphans are being noticed. This group of strong, vulnerable warriors are being acknowledged for what they are going through.

This week's issue concerns young people who have to find their way in life without parents, and who often end up in bizarre situations, such as weird policies by housing corporations, that evict orphans from their homes, within six months after the death of their parents. Whether or not they can pay the rent seems to be irrelevant; you will leave your house. It's so strange! And this has been happening for decades. As far as my NGO and myself, and fortunately also 150 MPs and local political parties in large cities are concerned: this heartless policy should change, truly transform. The sooner, the better. That won't work without recognition. Or without the desire to bring about real change.

Perhaps you recognize this: you find yourself in an odd situation, and you think: is it just me, or is this really very strange? Why does no one seem to notice what is going on here? And why isn't anyone doing anything about it? Do *I* really need to address this?

Piercing questions. And sometimes the answer indeed is: yes, *you* are the one who has to deal with this yourself. So that later, after your hard efforts, it no longer has to come from you alone. Because you instigated meaningful, social change. For many other people who otherwise might get stuck in a similar dire situation.

So now, you make the shift from 'acknowledging the situation' to 'inspired action'. And acting decisively.

This photo definitely was taken pre-Covid. 😬

This is the phase where key number two comes into play: facilitating. That may sound a bit too simplistic on the one hand, and complex on the other. Simplistic, because the most important thing you need for it is the willingness to do something about the situation. Which can be done in various ways. For example, you can solve a social problem by sharing expertise, or by creating something that helps someone enormously. Or by standing up for someone, which makes things easier for them in the future. It's very important however that you don't have to do everything alone. Because more often than not, that act of 'creating something' to help someone takes a lot of time and energy. Not always, but it happened to me, and before you know it, you're in the rabbit hole of a gazillion options and technological and time consuming implications. When a solution looks simple, this usually means that it is well designed. Which takes time and effort. And with a team, things are a bit easier to ship in time. I made the mistake of going about it all alone more often than I can count. For me, creating teams has been a steep learning curve. But perhaps this is much easier for you.

And also, when you think of solutions for a challenging social issue: you first of all you have to assess what wisdom would say in this particular matter; what has really helped someone, and how can you use the solution, now and in the future?

Sometimes the solution is a law. Or a checklist. A course. Coaching. A house. A stipend. Or something else. It can be anything, really. Creativity matched with pragmatism also plays a part in the process.

And perhaps you know what is necessary to create the solution, but you don't know how to make it happen. In which you need knowledge, skills or resources that come from outside yourself. This also means that you connect to other experts, and make yourself vulnerable to some degree. This might not be super comfy, but if it's the right thing in your case, it's definitely worth the sacrifice.

In the case of facilitating orphans, it definitely means collaboration with others. Going out there, connecting with stakeholders in government and local municipalities, organizations, the media, and individuals. We're advocating for orphan's rights, and we're creating media that empower organizations and bystanders, and of course, orphaned kids.

This brings me to the third key: empowerment. You can have all the people and tools in the world at your disposal, but if you do not truly, deeply believe that it is possible to make that necessary change, then you're making the battle unnecessarily harder. You'd fight for the cause, but also...against yourself and your hang-ups.

Empowering people sometimes also need a bit of empowerment. Especially in these crazy times.

This is precisely the reason that empowerment is so incredibly important if you want to initiate sustainable change, whether it is for yourself or for a vulnerable group of people you are committed to helping. Empowerment goes both ways; you feel it and receive, and you give it, you pass it on. Quite holistic, isn't it. Empowerment becomes possible when there are two things: 1.) someone has at some point in your life believed in you and showed it. They threw it around like confetti. Therefore, you believe in what you can achieve and in what you have to offer. The second thing is: having faith in someone. And a natural willingness to help them further along on their path, so that they can make a difference, when it's their turn.

If you want to create change, you need to notice, facilitate, and empower. As you have experienced these things yourself. And if you're in the unfortunate position that you haven't experienced empowerment confetti showers, start by writing down the things that you truly need in order to find the courage to achieve your social mission. Being specific about this is wise. Share your findings with a loved one, someone you trust.

So let's assume you gathered the three keys. Then what? Should your just go on with your life, or is there a task for you, something that brings value to someone else's life? Or a little bit of both?

I'd like to ask you this: when did you need to be noticed, lately? Not for anything you did, but just, as a person? When did you needed to be facilitated, lately? And when did you needed to be empowered, lately?

I believe these keys go and grow with us, on the course of our lives. Pass on one or more of these keys. Help someone out. Today.