Feeling courageous or being courageous

When you notice that you are feeling courageous, it means that you know your fears, but pursue despite of them. You are still connected with the source of fear, and use your positive energy to pursue whatever it is you want to achieve (or overcome).

When you are being courageous, you are living according to your heart core story. This is not a construct. It’s not a layer of make-up that covers up a pile of fear. It’s not feeling stifled by tormenting thoughts whilst letting everyone else know that ‘all is well’.

Being courageous means wholeheartedly and truly living your own unpolished story, daring to rumble with that, and daring to be real, warts and all.

When we’re not living our heart core story, we’re keeping ourselves from becoming who we are (and can be) in essence, whether it be in creative or business endeavours, or ‘just’ in everyday life.

Some people have asked me whether or not I feel fearful. Quite the opposite is true. I have been through many fearful phases in my life. For instance, when my parents died, without family members who were willing or able to take me in or help me out. Feeling alone as a teenager. This was an extremely fearful time for me, and some traces of this have traveled with me through time. Once, I regarded this fear as a curse. I felt envious of people who didn’t feel that haunting fear, and could just go ahead and achieve whatever they wanted, without the nuisance of insecurity. Later, I discovered that I could use that fear to my benefit. As a wake up call, urging me to reconnect who I truly am. Not the fearful, orphaned teenager. But the person I already was, before all that happened.

I sometimes still feel fearful. Life can be challenging sometimes. Pursuing new goals can be, too. They usually are, when the goal is pushing your limits. I think that’s natural. And it tells you you’re on the right path. This type of fear can be an invitation. If you’re willing to rumble with it. And to choose which steps you are willing to take despite feeling fear. I know it’s not for everybody. That’s okay.

This morning, I came across this quote by Pema Chödrön, and I though it matched today’s post beautifully:
“…we cannot be in the present moment and run our story lines at the same time.”

What do you choose, feeling courageous or being courageous?